You know your getting older when.....

 When I was younger I don't remember hearing about all the things that happen to you when you get older.  The only thing I remember hearing about is hot flashes. I remember that my mom has several surgeries but was not aware of what they were. I remember seeing other ladies getting older but never "heard" their ailments. Well let me tell you as I am coming on  a milestone birthday of the big 4-0! Ugh 40? really?  am I really That old? I know when I was in my 20's being 40 really was THAT old....now that I am almost there its really NOT that old...right? its not right?  Although I do have say I still smile when I see someone get that old before me.  Even if their b-day is right before mine....

 Now I sit here and wonder are they going through the same things I am? You know like hysterectomy, bladder control issues, bones hurting, being told by the doctor "Well your just not as young as you used to be so it just take more time to heal" and the list can go on and on....

Well this week I went through the next "right of passage" when you discover that when you have bladder issues there really is a difference between a maxi pad and "bladder control" pad.  I look at the pack sitting in my basket and think "Is this as embarrassing to buy than my "monthly necessities"?" My answer was YES because than means I am growing older. 

I know my kids are growing older but does that really MEAN I have to grow old to? Cant I stay in my 20's or 30's for the rest of the year? Come on I know my oldest will turn 20 at his next birthday but do I really have to turn 40? Come on time clock let their clock move and let my slow down to a crawl....Yet I know come August I will turn 40! So  here is a "toast" for those of us who are getting older...that we have survived to live to be 40! That those of us with older children we survived them being teenagers(since that's what we blame our gray hair on-don't get me started on that one LOL) So a toast to those who are crossing into that time of midlife... May we continue to reek havoc to our children.  May we continue to blast those tunes from the 80's and sing to them like it was yesterday! May we continue to address our bladder control and all those midlife crisis and rise up to be an awesome senior citizen(gasp--I said the words) that our children and grandchildren will talk about forever on how "young" we acted even when we are old...Cheers!

God Bless, J

To the world we are one person, to one person we are the world.

I know I know its been a while.

I know its been a while since I have posted.  I just have so much I could talk about but for some reason just don't make the time.  Notice I didn't say have the time.  I guess that really what I will talk about.  I know my time management skills suck....(I said the dreaded word "suck") I can tell you when I worked I was always early and would often work past my shift if I was able to or allowed to.  But since I have no "real" job( a job that I am depended on to work for someone else) my time management sucks.
I am a stay at home mom/wife.  I should be able to say my house is clean, my laundry is all clean, folded, ironed and put away.  That supper is ALWAYS on the table waiting for everyone to get home.  However these things don't usually get done. These things have never been priorities in my life (just ask my ex) I am trying to get better although some points in time are better than others.  I have been trying to do better I really have its just so easy to fall right back into bad habits. As I sit here I see 2 piles of clothes that I washed that still need to be folded and put away. 
I have to tell you what our home motto is : The first time you visit I will clean for you, the next time your family and I don't clean for family. LOL.......Just ask my family they will say its true!( Note please call me before you come over, I love love doing the flight of the bumble bee to clean up before you get here, I really do my best cleaning then)
I say all this because I am still on limited duty from the last surgery I had last week and will be for 5 more weeks and I am DIEING to clean house! Why because I cant, and knowing full well when I can I will just over look the clutter and the mess and shout out over my stuff : MY HOUSE IS LIVED IN and IS NOT A MUSEUM SO ITS NOT CLEAN...or MY HOUSE WAS CLEAN YESTERDAY SORRY YOU MISSED IT!

Its a Slouchy Sock Kind of Day!

You remember those slouchy socks don't you?  Those socks we wore back in the 90's.  When we were teenagers and didn't have a care in the world.  When our parents did stuff for us? That our only responsibility was who's house we were going, what our best friends were doing?  How our football team was doing?  Who was meeting who and where. Meeting up with friends to just "hang out at the mall" and not cause any trouble. 
I know I know I am going back in time, sometimes as a parent I sometimes wish I could go back to when I was a teen when I didn't have a care in the world.  Being a parent is the HARDEST job I have ever done.  We try so hard to make sure we are raising our children the right way and bam we hit the wall of real life.  This wall is when we must let go and let our children fail, let our children fall and let them humble themselves to ask for help.  It is by far the hardest thing we have to do as parents.  I am telling you  its not fun at all.  I have spent many days praying, crying, praying and crying while my children grow and attempt to fall into the "Real world". 
I also pray and cry for forgiveness with my own parents, saying how sorry I am that I did this to them! I am truly sorry for the hell I gave my parents. The guilt I put on myself over my actions to them is a very hard thing to forgive myself about.  I am working on this.  I am trying to forgive myself as my Lord has forgiven me.

I do have hope though.  When I look back at my life my parents instilled in my Christian background.  That even if I wasn't there in spirit I was there physically every time that church door was unlock my parents had us there.  I know I faltered between going and not going.  Getting away from my personal relationship with God that I had as a little girl.  In fact its only been in the last 10 years that I really "got back into church" and really tried to change my life around.  I don't know where I would have ended up while I was going through my divorce and getting clean and sober had it not been for my church family.  I don't know where anyone can get through those things with the LOVE of God.  I might have been in my deepest valley but I always had hope. I have now been drug free for 8 years.  I am now realising that I have control over my drinking.  While I may have an occasional drink I no long reach for the bottle when life throws me a curve ball. I can say that I have come along way with that.  I used to use drugs and drinking to cover up the pain and suffering I was causing in my own life.  God has sent me people in my life that when I am sinking low I can call them for prayerful support, people who know my struggle who lift me up when they know the darkness has surrounded me.  That they bring Light to my life.  I am very thankful for my Hubby Dennis.  He knows when he just needs to let me cry, when he just needs to sit and listen, and when I need his strong arms around me to let me know it will be OK.  He is my rock when I am sinking.  I love him for that.
So what does all this have to do with slouchy socks?  Its just sometimes when life gets tough  and I want to run away and get lost the past, I often think of old style clothes and today I put on my slouchy socks to help me remember I am a daughter, wife and mom. That no matter how bad life is at this very moment it is where I am supposed to be.  That all those times wearing those slouchy socks made me the woman I am now. 
Jenny
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world

Separation of Church and State

Last night was one of those nights.  I went to a women's meeting at church , had a great supper and met a great missionary.  Everything had been going just fine until they handed out these little envelopes.  I don't know about anyone else getting upset over them but I sure was.  I understand that everyone has their own views about Obama and about abortion.  I am OK with the fact that you and I can agree to disagree.  What I do have a problem with is that when I am at a church function you should not "tell" me that I need to do this because this is the only way something can be right...Don't ask me to donate to a cause if you don't know where I stand on it.
So last night I get this envelope...in this envelope is a paper asking for my donation against abortion. You know the spill millions....etc.... and while I am personally pro life I am also pro-choice.  I think everyone should have the right to make their own decisions.  Its not my choice or the governments choice on what I can or cant have or do...If I choose it then I have to live with the consequences of my choice.  I feel this way on most things.  I don't want my "right" to be taken away.  I don't want "big brother" standing over me saying what you are feeling is wrong you MUST do it this way.  I also don't want someone telling me how that they hate "government leaders" while I am at church.  Let me say while I am not happy with Obama and his administration  I will NOT tell you you were wrong to vote for him, that the beliefs you have are wrong. I can tell you that I might bring up politics at my home with someone but NEVER would I use church as my platform.  This country was founded on level of separation.  I can only hope it will stay that way.

  The Bible says many things about LOVE: Love your enemies, LOVE is the greatest of all, LOVE them so they can see that God Loves them. We should be praying for our nation, we should be praying for our state, we should be praying for our leaders, we should be praying for our neighbors, we should be praying for each other.  So take this as you want....I will keep my politics at home and will keep my choices to myself....I will lean on the Lord so he can help lead my life in the direction its needed to go. 

Our Wild Ride in Life this week

Wow what a week its been for me.  My emotions have been on high alert between kids, scouts and life in general.  It all started on Sunday with a call there was a major fire about 20 miles outside North of town and our town was downwind of this fire.  My mind and nerves starting going crazy over all of the what ifs....you know those crazy things that come into your mind that just drive you to the edge to make you want to jump off not knowing whats below.  Thank goodness Dennis unknowingly picked up on my stress and we talked about all the things that could happen and what we would do if it did happen.  This really put my mind at ease ( is it sad to say I kinda dreamed about my dream kitchen if my house had burned?) Well thanks to our Fire fighters they finally got the fire out on Wednesday.  We are so thankful to our Firefighters and all the work they have done!
I am slowly on the downhill slide of the emotional roller coaster!
Tomorrow is a major fundraiser for our Boyscout troop. We are raising our funds so we can go to our High Adventure Camp next June. Its 650 a person so if you don't buy any of our fundraiser but want to help send someone to camp let me know.  We take all donations. :)
I know that while the kids really aren't doing anything to get on my nerves they are on my nerves.  Their grades are great for this first progress report.  They are handling school better this year that last.  They have great friends and great support from so many people and for this I am thankful!  Its nothing the kids have done really its just me and my roller coaster :)  They have just learned to stand back when mom gets stressed. Or depressed.
I fight depression on a daily basis.  Some days are better than others.  I am no longer taking most of my medicine and I seem to be doing alright.  Sure I have some days that I am really down but those days are few and far between than what they used to be.  I certainly have more up days than down and that I thank the Lord for!
Oh....on a good note..... Dennis and I made hula hoops and we have doing a hula hoop challenge where we hoop it up for 30 minutes a day every day during the month of September.  I am not very good but I really enjoy the memories that we are making with the kids and each other! Not to mention it is serious exercise....By the end of my 30 minutes I have sweat dripping in places that does not usually have sweat dripping!  Thanks Christine Moers for all the help and encouragement!
Sorry about the randomness of this blog....trying to hit all that is on my mind in one blog not 3....:)

Jen

Its been a while

Well its been a while since I have posted anything.  I sit and think of all things I could/should talk about but just not sure still what I will say. So I think I will talk about hula hoops! You know those little pink ones with noise makers inside that swirl when your doing something right. Well guess what....those are for kids not for adults.  No matter how hard a normal adult tries, it just really wont work. However, thanks to our friend Christine Moers we have learned how to make hula hoops.  Also thanks to her Dennis and I will be doing a 30 minutes a day for 30 days challenge.  We will be making our own hoops this weekend.  She posted a  video from YouTube that even shows you how.  Dennis and I went and pickup the pieces to make them yesterday while in Austin. I am looking forward to getting them put together this weekend! I hope that I can figure out how to post pictures here on the blog over the weekend. We are going to be taking them with us everywhere we go, Killeen, New Orleans.  We will be taking pictures and posting as we "Hoop It Up" in town and out of town.
I am sure its going to give us all a great laugh as we are starting out but its going to be a lot of fun.
Lots of Laughs and Love--
Jen
To the world, you are one person, to one person, you are the world!

The Aftermath

Well its day 4 after my surgery.  While I am still healing I am getting better.  This surgery though a a bit hard on the doctors, and on my body.  To give you an idea on how it went : if the Dr had known me well she would have known I am the 1% of 1% that if its going to go wrong it will.  And it did.  We got to the hospital at 545 on Tuesday morning, they got me to the back started my IV. Met with all the Dr's I needed to before they started.  Last thing I remember is giving my hubby a kiss and being wheeled out of recovery.  About 6 hours later I remember being wiggled and being told Mrs. Nesser you need to breath deeply ....Come on Mrs Nesser you can do this....This though is pretty normal for me, I suffer from Sleep Apnea when I am under general Anesthesia's. The monitor showing my oxygen level often goes under 90 % when I am coming out of any surgery.  I got moved to my room and had a pain pump for me to use as needed, however each and every time I would push the button my oxygen level would drop and I would have to will myself to breath deeply.  Tuesday night came and went with the nursing staff interrupting my sleep every hour to "check on me" Why does that have to include turning on some bright light to see the machines that are all back lit up?? Just saying.  Wednesday morning came with the Dr coming in and asking me how I was doing.  I thought I was doing good so she proceeded to tell me about my surgery.  She said that almost the minute I got in the surgery room my IV blew and they quickly had to find another one in any place they could find one. ( I was well asleep by then) They begin to hook me up to the DeVinci machine and cant get through.  The Dr said inside I was nothing but a wall of adhesion's. She had expected to see a few with 2 c sections, opened appendix surgery(pre orthosopic) and then gallbladder.  What she found was my uterus, bladder and abdominal wall stuck together with scar tissue.  She had to cut apart my bladder from my uterus and my uterus from  my ab wall before it could be removed.  This 3 hour procedure turned into a 5 hour procedure.  Apparently the Anesthesiologist had a huge sigh of relief when it was all over with because I was having complication while under. I don't know what was happening just know he was glad it was over! She also said that after I heal from this I will have to go  back into the hospital for a bladder sling since she had to detach it from everything it was touching. So another surgery in September.
After this discussion she decided to take my pain pump out so she could "adjust my oral medicine to see which one will be best for me" So pain pump out I go from a pain scale of 3 to 10 in about an hour. Telling the nurse this is NOT working I need something now.  They bring in the good stuff which makes me develop the "narcotic itch" which is when randomly I start itching on my body and I HAVE to scratch it.  Could be on my cheek one second, my hand the next or leg...Just random itching. I didn't care I just wanted to NOT hurt. We finally got most of the pain taken care of however my back starting hurting.  Dr said its common after this surgery for backs to hurt.  The Dr said she would be come back sometime Wednesday night between 5 and6p to see how I was doing.  After getting started on the Vicodin Dennis and I would start our walking the halls.  They wanted me walking and going potty before they would even think about me going home. I walked about 5 times through out the day and yes it took sometime but my bladder did start working. The Dr showed back up at aroun6ish and said she thought I would be good to go home.  However the paperwork took them 3 hours to write up, so I finally got out around 930 and living over an hour away we had to take a break somewhere along the way. I was finally in my chair to sleep at around 1130.  Wednesday night went OK, pain medicine worked OK except for my back.  Thursday and Friday both went OK, back still hurt.  Sat so far has been OK, no pain medicine yet except for Advil.  However the back is still killing me.  We even had a massage therapist come yesterday and rub on me for an hour to try to get me some relief.  I am still taking it real easy, Dennis and the boys are taking great care of me. Just pray for me this recovery is going to be long and even though my body might feel better I am still pretty restricted on what I can do for 6 weeks. IF you have an extra moment and don't mind me being slow come by to visit or lets go to lunch.  I cant drive but would still love to get out of the house for a bit. Just call, email or face book me.

Surgery

   As some of you know I will be have major surgery, a hysterectomy.  Part of me has been very excited about it but part of me is scared and sad about it. They have found a cyst that is located both on the inside and outside of my uterus and they know its at least the size of a tangelo but it could be bigger once they get in there.  I have had menstrual issues for years.  Heavy bleeding, long painful cycles, sometimes on cycles more than I am not.  So it is time.  I have really prayed about it over the years...I want it to be Gods will, not just my own. 
   My struggle with it though is thinking about my children, my 4 children that have been in my womb, 3 who have been born and one who is my Angel in Heaven.  I love and am crazy about my boys here at home but my heart ofter struggles with that little one whom I have never seen in person! The one that God gave me dreamlike glance at, who is up there with Him, with her red bouncy pigtails, and crooked smile that I have imagined in my head my times over.  If fact I am so sure it was A girl I remember once being in a store in Salado where they had porcelain dolls in it and there was a curly red headed baby doll that made me break down for over an hour.  I remember going and talking to the store owner about Mikayla and she took me over to a rocking chair and let me hold and coddle that doll for as long as I needed to.  God really gave me peace over it.  Sure I still wonder and cry over the fact she would have been 12 April 1st.  I know sometimes I see little girls and just want to love and hug on them.  I know when I am battling a depression kind of day she is who the Devil puts in my mind to play tricks on me with the what ifs game. 
   This is when I cry then step back and look at the boys he did put here on Earth with me!  I have my oldest Garon who is 18 (a month away from being 19, I have Dalton who is 14(2 months from being 15), and Wyatt 11(1 month from12) and add in one more via marriage DW, 15 whom might not be "mine from within but is just one of my boys"  I look at them and think Man, God is so good.  I often hear people say"God has a special place for moms of all boys!"  I sometimes wonder, but I think its just because he is a father to his own son Jesus.  He watched over Mary and Joseph as they raised his son.  To watch him become the Man he always knew he would become.  Its a proud day when we here on earth get to tell our children"I am Proud in what you have become!"  I imagine what it was like the day that Jesus heard that from him Heavenly Father.
   So why all this over  hysterectomy well this is where my babies lived and died.  They are a part of me, this is going to remove this part.  I know its for the best, I know it will help me feel better, I know....I know....I know.  This is my choice and I will live with this choice that this could be something more serious , I will make this choice so that I am still here for when my boys get a lot older and marry , I will see my daughter in laws(whom I have prayed over since my boys were babies) and for any future grandchildren.  Dennis and I often talk about one of these day blah blah blah...And I want "one of these days" to happen...I want to be the most "awesomeness" mother in laws, I want to the greatest Granny, and I cant wait to see what God has planned for Dennis and I when our boys all grow up....The subject of our boys is a whole other post...There many struggles there to.  So just send your prayers to me July 19th as I start an new stage in my life.  I will continue to Pray for Gods guidance and that HIS will be made known. 
God Bless J
To the world, you are one person, but to one person, you are the world!

Taking the time

So after having a week by myself(minus the oldest one being home when he wasn't working), I have decided that Dennis and I need some time together, just the two of us.  Its that time of year when all the other boys are at their other parents house for summertime.  This is the first time that Garon isn't going on a Mission Trip in July where Dennis and I get a week without anyone but ourselves at home.  This year Dennis and Garon are going on a hiking right of passage camp in July to the Continental Divide in Colorado.
So I am sending off Garon to his Grandparents/Aunts House for a few days.  We, Dennis and I, to keep our marriage strong know that sometimes we have to take time alone without kids to keep our marriage going strong.  This year has been a monumental for us.  We celebrated 5 years married on June 3, 2011. We want to have many more years together and since we are both divorced previously and chose to remarry and have a blended family, its very easy to become another statistic.  We know that we have to keep God in the middle and then actively work on our marriage.  To work on it we MUST and DO take time to be together alone with no kids from time to time.
So what are we going to do this year? WE usually go to a B&B that our computers and cell phones don't work so well, but with him being gone last week for Scout camp he cant take 2 weeks off from his business, I hope that we can at least get away for a day or two to just chill and relax with no TV. I will take whatever little bit of time we can get together.  I love my children, but to be a great mother I must be a great wife to my wonderful hubby! So at the end of the month we will have a few days alone with NOT one kid around! YEAHHHHHHH! So don't call or come by unannounced we may or may not be here or might just not answer!
J
To the world, you are one person, to one person, you are the world!

This week in my life

What have I learned this week? Well I have learned that sometimes being in a house in the silence is truly something  that is needed so you can refocus on yourself.  That sometimes we get so busy with everyone else in our lives that we need to have a moment or two to reflect upon ourselves.  This is my week for it.  Dennis, DW, Dalton, and Wyatt are all gone to Boy Scout camp for a week.  I have Garon here but I have kinda kicked him out through out the week so momma could get some momma time. 
One thing I have learned about myself is though, I don't handle stress well.  This week we ran out of ice at the snow cone shop.  You cant make snow cones if you dont have ice to make it with.  I have sat and cried over the lost sales today becuase of it.  I have had my bubble popped in the business world when I go to buy more ice and get told that "You are just a small fish in the ice business, so I have none to sell to you!" So guess what Reddy Ice I will now drive to New Braunsfel to get ice because THEY want my business!  And they are upset that they cant deliver here because we are out of their district.  They have product that we need but cant help but  they will save me some to come and get.
I have learned though I am an eatter when it comes to stress, when I am mad I just want to eat anything and everything healthy or unhealthy!  That when I chose the unhealthy food it doesn't make me feel better, in fact its making me sick to my stomach! 
I have feel like I am swimming along with a broken arm barely staying afloat.  I have the peace to know that tomorrow will get better but today is just one of those days.
I have kept up my food journal and its shown that I have been very moody this week, and have made some great choices but I have also made some bad choices, but you know what THATS OK! Sure its a struggle but isnt life? 
OH I have also started doing a Bible reading when I am hungry.  Before I go and get something to eat I stop and read a radom passage to see if I am really hungry or Hungry.(Refer back to another blog about little h or H) Its helped me remain focused on whats important.  Although today being the kind of day it is even that did not quintch the thirst or want that I craved. 
Tomorrow is another day, it will be better than today and I will have my smile back.  I won't grit my teeth to pretend its a good day because Good Lord willing I will wake up in the morning and that makes it a good day, and I wont let the devil get his foothold on me!
Jen

To the world, you are one person, to one person, you are the world!

Weight Issues

So as many of you know I have been on Weight Watchers now for a month.  I have lost 5.2 pounds and am holding steady.  I do know that I have got to go head strong into this starting now or I won't make the weight limit for Sailing next year! I dont know why this last week or two has been a hard struggle. This weeks meeting was about keeping track of stuff besides the food you eat.  For instance some have to track gas going in and going out, mileage for work, shopping lists, things to do list etc.  IF you keep track of these things that are important to you then you should be able to keep your list of foods.  By tracking your foods you can make sure you are eatting your points the correct way.  It keeps you in check to make sure you have your full servings of fruits,veggies, protein, fats etc.  Tracking makes you accountable for every little thing you put in your mouth!
How many times have you started with the "Im going to do this for a month" but lose track with what you were doing after a few day?  Well thats how tracking can help. 
Think about hearing the term"I am an emotional eatter!"  What does that  mean really?  Well to figure that out part of your life your are eatting.  WW says to classify your hunger with H or h.  H meaning you look around and can see something that is of the right choice off of WW and you eat it. h means you look around food and when looking you think"there is nothing good to eat in this house!" Or I am not craving anything in this house.  When you think if the "h" there is usually an emotion to go along with it...its boredom, depression, happiness, sadness, anger, ???Stop right then and make a note in your food journal about what you were feeling at that very moment.  This will help you identify why and when your eatting.
I challenge you along with myself to food/emotional journal for one week, I think we will all be suprised on what we eat and why we eat it. Would love to hear from you how you and your weight journey is going if you are struggleing with weight like I am.  Remember you are not alone here there are millions of people that are obese/overweight just like I am and sometimes you need all the support from near and afar to help you when you stuggle.
Jen
To the world, you are one person, to one person you are the world!

Sometimes you Just Have to Laugh!

Take the time to laugh! Life can get so stressful at times and you just need to stop and laugh because if you don't your just gonna scream?  Well our lives this week have been just this! Let me start at the beginning. Tuesday morning I go to leave to head to the store and have flat tire in  the van.  Tuesday night we are just laying down to go to sleep I remove my glasses and SNAP they break in half.  Wednesday we get up early to head to New Bransfels so I can get an exam and new glasses, but the Doctor that normally is there is off on Wednesday's(it doesnt say that in the phone book or online), so we start calling around the nearest place to get eye exam is San Marcos.  So off we go to San Marcos, I get my eye exam and head back to New Bransfels to have them make the glasses I have already picked up.  They tell us come back in about 2.5 hrs later.  We hang out at different places for about 2 hours, we show up to get them and they still need time to make them.  More waiting....we finally get one set of glasses (the most important ones) and wait some more for my sunglasses.  45 mins later they are having a problem getting the lens died to the same color, so "I am sorry but they wont be ready till tomorrow so we will just mail them to you!"  So 6 hours later, I have eye exam, new glasses and waiting on the prescription sunglasses. On the way home Dennis gets a call, someones system is down so he drops me off at home goes back out to the car and its DEAD!  I mean dead as a doornail! We have only been out of the car for 5 mins! So now we  have a van with flat and tire is off the rim, and a second car with dead battery.  He grabs the 3rd car to head to work.  The kids and I get the flat of the van, try jumping the car (which wont jump).  Thank Goodness for great friends! They take me to at least get the tire filled and back on the rim.  The boys get spare back on and I whisper to the Van "Baby girl you just gotta hold air till tomorrow morning so I can get you some new tires!" WE check the charging battery on car still dead! Thursday morning, we have made an appointment in Austin to get new tires, however first we come out to a flat tire, we get it filled up and PRAY that it will make it and we do! Yeah......So we get home with new tires, and a new battery for car.  Dennis quickly changes out battery!So now all cars are running. 
This is also the weekend that the Scouts are heading out to scout camp, so we start getting paperwork together and pick up the brief case and it breaks into pieces.....Thats when I start laughing! Laughing restores the broken spirit! Laughing restores sanity when sanity fails! Laughing makes everyone else wonder what your up to!   So take the time to LAUGH!!!!
Jen
To the world, you are one person, to one person, you are the world

Kids Room

Well today as I look down the hall and see the bedroom that the 3 boys share.  I wonder where they heck they get all that crap!  I will be entering into the dark dirty room and doing what they boys call "momma clean" which means mom goes through clothes, toys and whatever else is in there and get rid of trash bags full of stuff.  Like clothes that dont fit anymore will go to GCAM, broken toys thrown away etc!
I try to do this once or twice a year while they are all gone so they dont see what all is disappearing. hehehehehe
I always hope that maybe just this once they will see how it looks to be nice and organized and keep it that way but usually doesnt stay like that for long.  Although I do have hope it will  stay clean since they will be gone for most of the summer!

I do wonder though do their lives reflect such dirty room?  Does their school work? Does their minds get all cluttered because their rooms are that way too?  I know we go to Church and do Scout stuff to keep us "clean" with His word, to keep them busy with Scouts to keep them "clean" in things to do outside of the house.  To build their skills as boys growing into men. 
So why cant they keep their rooms clean?  I know they get it from me, I am not one to be bothered with a clean house, I am a pretty cluttered person.  They used to tease me when I was a teacher  assistant that my desk was horrid  but I knew what was on my desk and could always find what I was looking for at anytime. Its a skill that I have to work one everyday.  I did marry a guy who knows I am this way but loves me anyway however I am getting better and I do throw out alot more that I used to.
So wish me luck! I better get started because if I don't it just wont get done! J

To the world, you are one person, to one person, you are the world!

Weight Problem

  Well its one of the hardest topics for a female to talk about besides her age I believe!  The truth for me is that for the last 10 years or so my weight really has been an issue.  I have gone up and down on the sliding scale of life.  My max weight was 270.  I was lucky enough not to ever hit that "magic" number.  You know that one  number you get to and you start having diabetes, high blood pressure, cholosteral problems etc(you get my drift).  But I did get to that level that the only thing I could do was sit in my lazy boy at home and sweat just thinking about exercising.
  So what has changed at this moment to get me motivated to lose weight?  Well 3 things.  First, I will be turning 39 in August and lets be frank I dont want to the fat mom at football games who cant go up the stairs to our seats for fear of a heartattack or asthma attack.  Second as I approach 40 I want to be here for a long time for my Husband and for my kids.  Third, our Boy Scout Troop 262 is going on a SeaBase scout camp next summer to go sailing and I WANT to go too! With this trip there is a weight limit and I am about 75-80 lbs too heavy.  This camp cost a ton of money but I really really, did I say really want to go!  I got to go sailing a year ago and I am HOOKED! To the point that when we retire I want to get a sailboat and sail around the world! Ok maybe not the world but who knows...
  So here I began  my new weight loss journey by starting Weight Watchers 3 weeks ago.   In 3 week I have now lost 5.2 pounds.  While its been hard its been good.  I know I am not sticking to it like I probably should I am still working on it. I haven't started exercising as of yet.  Although I did get into the pool and swim 4 full laps before I thought I was going to die! But I did it! With exercising I will take it one swim at time, one step at a time!With just one bite at time I will change my life.
Jen

PS. Just don't judge me when you see me eatting that blizzard or that candy bar, because I will eat it with no guilt :) And I will count it as part of my weight watchers points too!


To the world, you are one person, to one person, you are the world!

The Opening to the Why

Well today I decided to become a ........dum dum dum......Blogger...."Why?" asked my  husband  and 18 year old son.  Why indeed... .

I am inspired to blog by my hubby and numerous friends who have their own blogs and I have said to myself "I wanna do that too!" So here I am sitting at my kitchen table trying to say something inspiring to others so they will read this....

This will be about starting a new step in my life journey. So  the good,  the bad and anything in between that is what this blog will be about. From weight loss/gain, to dealing with teenage boys, to struggles with my business, relationships with friends and family and other points unforeseen.

So let the Blogging begin..........

To the world ,you may only be one person, but to one person, you maybe the world!